Read my interview for #IndieAuthorFebruary with author B.A. Wilson on her blog!
‘In Speaking Of…’ is a collection of poetry inspired by the soul’s journey from dark to light. It takes raw emotion stemming from life’s darker moments and spins them into alchemical passages that expose truths we try to hide. Acceptance of ones’ inner self eventually leads to light, life, and happiness. ‘In Speaking Of…’ embraces the pain we feel in order to enhance the joyful moments we find within. Beauty amidst pain, light amidst darkness. Sometimes brutal yet still captivating, this collection of poems sends the reader into a journey of introspection and hopefully ends with the realization that life has more to offer than one ever thought possible.
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Today is an anniversary, of sorts, for me. When I was eleven years old I was involved in a severe car accident that crushed my upper jaw and left me needing ALOT of work on my mouth. The process took many years and left me with a phobia of the dentist! Eww, just the smell makes me want to run in the opposite direction.
So many things about that day are still imprinted on my mind like a daguerreotype chemically exposed on the back of my brain. Even though I was young, only eleven, that event changed me for the better. How can I say that? Its easy. Great pain (physical as well as mental) is a catalyst to bring us closer to understanding what our souls are made of. At the moment of impact I didn’t die, my life didn’t flash before my eyes. But something changed in me. Without anyone voicing it I realized how precious life is, how fragile it can be, how every moment matters, and I should always trust my instincts. Earlier that day as I played in the snow with my sister a thought crossed my mind. I knew something would happen that day. Four hours later the car I was in lost control in the snow and wrapped itself around a telephone pole. I wasn’t the only one hurt, either. Two of my cousins shared a hospital room with me.
Interesting, that my child brain was never upset about what happened. She was never bitter about not having paid attention to that instinctual feeling. Even at hospital when she looked at herself in the mirror and saw a puffed up swollen shape that only slightly resembled her face, she knew it would be ok. She saw it as a learning experience, a way to connect with something larger than herself. It was life-affirming instead of being the opposite.
I can honestly say that from that point on in my life when I felt something similar, I listened. Sometimes nothing came of it, sometimes something did. I might not have ever have been aware of that without that specific experience. My life would not be the same without that knowledge. What I have not been so good at, is accepting the challenges as something that will ultimately help me become a better person. My adult brain isn’t as gracefully accepting of the rollercoaster of ups and downs that make up life. This day every year reminds me that happiness doesn’t come from a string of good events. It comes from accepting who we are, what we have been through, and using that knowledge to grow.
“Sometimes out of the darkest situations the most beloved dreams are revealed and given to us.”
-Found, by Nikki Anne Schmutz
My book ‘Found’ will be available in the next few days on amazon.com. This story in all its entirety came to me in a dream. In the beginning, I wrote this book to be about a young girl trying to find her way out of a tough situation during the Christmas season. I published it in a local market more than a decade ago and found that everyone who read it saw the focus as something different than I had intended it to be. It became more. As I shared it, the more others brought to my attention that this story was really about the glorious gift of adoption. I have since met countless individuals and families who have shared their own adoption stories with me and I have grown to admire each and every one of them. I have a special place in my heart for the type of sacrifice and love shown in these situations. In releasing my book out into the world for the second time I hope that I will continue to hear these stories, to feel the happiness in the couples who adopt, and see the incredible and innate goodness in the people I meet all over.
Too many times in life we feel like we’re lost on a lonely frost bitten road that seems to never end…. I know, I’ve been there too. Its taken my years of feeling lost to decide to look it is as an adventure. Who cares if you’re not sure where the road is going. Life never actually takes the path you planned on anyhow. Share this journey with those you love… a walk into the unknown, a peek into the mysteries of life, a sideshow of the goodness found in places where you least expect it. Beauty is out there, sometimes you just have to look past the first thing you see and focus on what you see after that first impression. Life is like that for me. Too many times I miss the small things that give my joy and hope in the world around me. This blog is a new journey for me, a place for me to ramble on a bit about those things I’m trying not to miss. Join me and maybe together we can find those things we werelooking for and never realized we were…