We Will

There are
Things we cannot say
Tears we cannot shed
Fears we cannot face
Paths we cannot take
Wounds we cannot heal
Pasts we cannot deal
Scars we cannot show
Love we cannot know
Others we cannot depend
Hearts we cannot mend

Unless we erase the words
We cannot
And replace them with
We will

There are
Things we will say
Tears we will shed
Fears we will face
Paths we will take
Wounds we will heal
Pasts we will deal
Scars we will show
Love we will know
Others we will depend
Hearts we will mend

And we will
find happiness

~ Nikki Anne Schmutz

Uprising

In defeat

     she folded her wings

allowed them knotted

at her back

     bent, idle

 

In surrender

     she caged her spirit

allowed confines

in her heart

     trapped, futile

 

In mutiny

     she shouted loud

allowed her voice heard

outside the cage

  ringing, clear

 

In uprising

     she unfolded her wings

broke the fused bones

at the joints

  stretched, unfurled

 

In freedom

     she took leave

excruciating flight

high above the prison

  breaking, breathing

 

The angel, free again

                to fly

 

~ Nikki Anne Schmutz

Apology

(a poem for all who harbor an unspoken apology)

It rattled across the silence
Absorbed vacant chords
Overtook lonely minutes
Replayed words unsure

It sought absolution
In moments unrealized
Searched for a pardon
From lips paralyzed

It explored answers
Begged for a reprieve
Waited as you paused
Cried and did grieve

Apology left unsaid
Laid upon the floor
Waiting for your words
To make life as before

~ Nikki Anne Schmutz

Apology

Breadcrumbs

I trace the steps
I’ve taken
I know the path
so well

I drop breadcrumbs
in the forest
on the dark and
dusty trail

In hopes those
who’re lost
in this labyrinth
called pain

Will gather bits
to feed themselves
This journey’s
not in vain

The brambles
we are bound within
the thickets
where we’re caught

Are chances
to prove ourselves
to live and trust
heart and thought

We can conquer
all we face
with skill and
intellect

We are but one
in this universe
with breadcrumbs
to collect

~ Nikki Anne Schmutz

Habits

Too immense to carry,
heavy to drag behind –
I seek step after step
forward and upward
away from ruts
habitually lived.

Too weighty on the heart,
taxing on the mind –
I seek change after change
forward and upward
away from patterns
habitually repeated.

Too emotionally draining,
drawing from the soul –
I seek thought after thought
forward and upward
away from processes
habitually processing.

Until I release
from my patterns
and breathe relief….

~ Nikki Anne Schmutz

Face Value

I read faces –
each line and pull of muscle
signifies what lies beneath
the cool exterior of skin

The mind reels –
catapults emotions
into fields of the enemy
as incendiary fallout

Eyes are windows –
the depths we swim in
reflect on glassy surfaces
as reminders of inadequacy

Ears on either side –
my head wishes equilibrium
when my heart pushes
towards one side or another

I wish for balance –
a finite acknowledgement
of all I cannot control
all I may never hold

~ Nikki Anne Schmutz