A Way

Your blue-eyed
pools of promise
Drew me in 
Heavenly choirs sang
Your arrival 
I knew in that moment 
You were mine
I revered the calling
My role in our forever
Was preordained

 

Or so I thought

 

The years brought hurt
Between smiles
Barriers built amid
Expanse of possibilities
Hearts broken
As bread in offerings
To God
Promises became weights
Concrete shoes of responsibility
In rivers of circumstance

 

Swallowed water
Filled lungs deeply
Breath became impossible
Hands reached out for a rescue
That never came
Instead
Shovels full of choices
Buried hearts alive
Suffocating hope
In folds of wanderlust
Unfulfilled

 

Skies blackened
Stealing rays of sunlight
Debts spilled over
Cups of everyday
Dreams sought
Were turned away
Left to wither
Without sustenance

 

Mouths open and close
In realization
Vocal chords tighten
Words drift away
In hopeless resignation

 

We are left
Standing on opposite ends
Of a vast canyon
Shouting words
We cannot understand
Across the distance
Muffled syllables
Carried away by the lonely
Howl of wind
Gusting in the silence

 

Hearts once joined
Now spend lonely moments
Wishing time could be
Replaced
By flowers scented
With boundless desire
And curved lips
In lofty kisses
And sunsets of enjoyment

 

Instead my heart
Clenches in anxiety
My hope lies as a rug
On the floor of us
Walked over
time and time again
Until I have had enough

 

I don knitted wings
Carefully handmade
Aid to planned escape
I test them out
Unsure of flight
And realize
My feet are solid enough
To carry me
Exactly where I wish

~ Nikki Anne Schmutz

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2 thoughts on “A Way”

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